Stirring The Pot

Clearly God is stirring something up in me. And I'm ok with that, but that doesn't mean it's easy. I'm acutely aware of where I've fallen short...

This song brings tears to my eyes every time I hear it.

Just the first few lines even...just so honest, raw and vulnerable.

I am guilty
Ashamed of what I've done, of what I've become
These hands are dirty
I dare not lift them up to the Holy One.

Who hasn't felt like that at some point? It is exactly how I've been feeling. I know that Jesus loves me and accepts me no matter what I do. But it's hard to face Him when you know you've been walking your own path...big or small steps away are still steps in the wrong direction.

How can it be Lord? That you would give your life for mine? You would die that I may live...I don't understand it. I can't fathom that much love. That's why You are God and I am not.


Are you kidding me with all you've done for me? How lucky am I to have a God that loves me this much? Who bought me with His blood...blood, folks...that's the highest price there is. 

In life, one of my biggest fears is letting people down, I just hate how that feels. And to feel like I've let God down brings an aching to my heart that I just can't explain.

I've been hiding
Afraid I've let you down
Inside I doubt
That you still love me
But in Your eyes there's only
Grace now 

Luckily, Jesus is a far better Savior than I am a sinner...