Slow and Steady...

I haven't been eating that great and I definitely haven't been exercising. My sleep has also taken a nose-dive since being home. I feel it. I'm irritable. Sluggish. Moody. Anxious. Hot/cold. 

Why do I do this to myself?

Well...I LOVE food. And I LOVE my friends and family. I like to celebrate my friends and family with food.  So, coming home for 10 days means constant and unending reasons to celebrate! 

But it's taking it's toll and it's gotta stop.

Today, I made a delicious orange creamsicle Shakeology and then went for a run. I didn't have my running watch so I had no idea what pace I was running or how far I actually went. But I ran...ok, jogged, for 43 minutes. And it felt marvelous!

I have a plan set in place for when I'm back in Cali next week...I'm starting 21 day fix on July 6th. I'll use the time I'm on planes (WA to TX then TX to CA) to come up with a meal plan and grocery list so I'll be ready for success once Monday hits.

I know better but sometimes it's hard to do better. That's where grace comes in...it's so easy to extend to others, but why is it such a challenge to show myself the same grace I so easily give others? 

Today Is The Day

I'm having a nephew today! 

I can't wait for nephew #2 to arrive later today!

Pics to come.

That is all.

Afraid of Fun

I've recently realized that its really hard for me to have fun. I'm not good at relaxing either. I grew up in a house that was always on edge and very intense. We did things that should have been fun, but more often than not, some sort of event/trauma/drama would occur leading up to said fun event and we'd all just push through with forced smiles. 

Ok, that sounds really harsh. I did have fun with my family growing up. We did fun things and my parents tried to give us as much happiness as they could. That being said...for every ounce of intense, rigid, inflexible, stubborn, black/white that I am...Papa was 100 times more. At points I remember being told to "have fun whether you like it or not" no joke! 


Papa was worried we'd get hurt so we were taught to be scared of things. I know he just wanted to protect me and keep be safe but as an adult, I struggle to just let loose, relax, throw caution to the wind and let my hair down. I desperately want to have fun though and when I'm surrounded by those who so easily throw themselves into things with smiles on their faces, I get jealous. I want to be able to do that too.

There's only one thing to do...practice having fun...because that's what rigid, over-thinking perfectionist, type "A" personalities do...we have solutions to problems and if you aren't good at something then practice is the answer.

This past weekend I took a step out of my comfort zone and crossed something off ye ol' bucket list...I completed a mud run. I've always wanted to but just never have. I was nervous...I've read articles about people slipping under the mud and being trampled to death, and others about people being hospitalized because they accidentally ingested some manure-laden mud. And I was scared...what if I can't do it? What if I can't pull myself up the rope or if I fall when I get to the top? But guess what...I did it! Nobody got hurt, we all had fun and I'm pretty sure I'll be doing it again!

It's funny that I'm so terrible at taking risks and having fun. Almost every one of my close friends are pretty fearless and tend to jump right into anything and everything. I've always envied that about them...well, no more! It's time for change! Little by little I'm going to work at becoming more like them in this way instead of sitting on the sidelines being scared.

Before and after the race!

 

Love

Love is a funny thing. We are such weirdos when it come to the word "love." We 'love' pizza (ok, I don't, I could go the rest of my life without ever eating pizza again and I'd be fine...but you, you love pizza) we 'love' that book, or tv show, movie, song, etc. We are 'in love' with the latest OPI nail color, new car, pasta in cream sauce we're using our "cheat meal" on. 

We throw it around so casually but when it comes time to express love as an actual feeling/emotion towards another human...it suddenly carries a lot more weight...well, sometimes.  

Some people use the word to get what they want...think after-school specials.  Others truly think they mean it but it flows so easily and freely from their mouths that it's really hard to believe. You know the friend who meets someone new and two dates later is declaring they're in love and going to marry this person...I mean, really? Two dates? Gimme a break. And yet others still, hold onto the word like its the most sacred and precious thing they have, hardly ever letting it slip through their lips.

Where do I fall? Well, I do love ice cream. Hot fudge too. I love me some freshly polished toes, and a warm summer day. I love about every third song that comes on the radio, and don't even get me started on how in love I am with Target, yoga pants and bacon...I mean, really, we'd be here for days! But when it come to expressing love to another human, I'm much more reserved. I grew up in a house where getting and giving hugs and exchanging I love you's was commonplace. As I've gotten older, and perhaps wiser, I've learned that my love isn't something that everyone deserves...

Ok, lets talk about this a minute...All people are deserving of love, each and every soul that ever existed deserves love. And I can say this because God SO LOVED US (each and every one) that He gave His only Son. So in the greater sense of the word, yes, all people are deserving of my love, but the kind of love I'm talking about is a package deal with my heart...and not everyone is deserving of that. It's taken me a long time to realize that, but those are just the facts. 

Now that we've got that squared away, let's carry on...

Not everyone is deserving of my love. My heart is incredibly tender and not many people earn the right to have open access to it. And to me, that's what love is...when you are completely and fully yourself with someone, warts and all, as Mama Cindy would say. When you no longer have to think about their motives, intentions or agendas because you know that they're looking out for you too. Love means knowing you can do life without them but not wanting to. Knowing that there are no conditions on which their affections rest.

Sometimes saying it comes easy. Sometimes it doesn't. Some say actions speak louder than words but my Pastor says "actions speak louder WITH words" and I think that's true. Still, though, sometimes it doesn't need to be said...it's just known.

Words

Some Pinterest finds this week...some of them speak to my heart, some remind me of friends, some I just liked...

Non-Negotiables

I'm a creature of habit. I love routine. That's what makes me such a good distance runner/swimmer...I'm consistent. Once I get locked into a pace I can go forever. Shake things up and I'm suddenly questioning my abilities and the world in general. Some people call that rigid...but whatever, who cares what those people say!

There are a few things in my life that are the anchors to my happiness and general well-being. When these things are in place, I'm set...throw anything my way and I can't be shaken. If even one of these cornerstones is missing or out of place, the foundation gives way and I crumble.

As I'm setting up life in Cali (yes, I moved) I decided to focus on the non-negotiable first (makes sense, right?) and let everything else fall into place around them. This is always my goal but hardly ever is it actually lived-out. I end up not setting aside time for these things or let other things push into the time I have set aside. Plus, I'm lazy...there, I said it. I like to nap. I like to lounge. I love me some yoga pants and snack foods in front of the tv. And once I'm into a habit (be it good or bad) I'm locked in for the duration. 

This is week 1 in California and I want to build a strong and solid foundation for life here. No, I don't have a job yet and yes, I know things will change when all my summer travels are over and "real life" sets in...but I figure if I get in the habit of making these things a priority now, it won't be as hard later..

Daily time in the Word

     I have two devotionals I do in the morning and I'm reading through the NT at night

Daily time in prayer

    In prayer journal and as I go through the day

Building/investing in a church community

    Weekly attendance as well as a Bible study or community group

Connecting regularly with family and friends from around the country

    Phone calls, texts, skype-dates, etc

Maintaining an 80/20 paleo diet

     I feel best on 100% paleo but a girl has gotta have her treats every now and again...

Getting enough sleep

     Minimum 6 hours a night...I'd like to make it 8 so I don't have an excuse to nap during the day

     

Working out 30 min daily

    Sticking to workout plan (currently InsanityMax:30) M-F; whatever I wanna do on the weekend

Volunteering (starting goal: 5hrs a month)

     I'm looking into animal rescues in the area and hope to be back to dog walking soon

Blogging
     I have a lot to say and writing has always been the easiest way to express my heart

So...there it is...the recipe for a happy Linsey.

Am I missing anything? What are your non-negotiables? How do you make sure they stay a priority? 

Accepted And Loved

I know everyone is unique. Some of us are just a little more unique than others. For instance, I'm just not for everyone...throughout my life there have been people who just don't "get" me and therefore prefer to not be around me. When I was younger it really bothered me. I always just wanted to be the person that everyone likes and wants to be friends with. But as I got older I realized that sometimes being friends with everyone means not really going deep with anyone. You can't be liked by everyone and also have opinions about things because inevitably you'll find someone who disagrees with you, gasp! I decided that I'm far too opinionated and far too strong willed to be Miss Congeniality. I'd rather have a few deep and meaningful friendships than a whole host of causal and surface interactions. There have been times in life that I've been really lonely because of this. But it's also made me really appreciate the people who do fully "get" me and hold onto them for dear life.

When I moved to Washington in September I prepared myself to be lonely. I have only a couple friends here that I'm still in touch with but they all have kids and therefore, are generally busy...all the time. My family is here, but they also have lives of their own and haven't just been sitting around the past 13 years waiting for me to come home so they have something to do...imagine that.

So when I started working at Hop Jack's I figured I'd meet one, maybe two people who I would connect with on some level and I might just have a new friend. As in one. I expected to make one friend. What I got instead was a large family. I have never met a group of people who fit together so well and genuinely enjoy each others company as much as this crazy cast of characters. In a lot of situations in life I feel awkward and dorky, but this group not only fully embraces each person's quirks but celebrates them too. I loved going to work each day because no matter who was working that particular shift,  I knew I not only got along with them, but we'd have fun together. Work doesn't seem like work when you're surrounded by some of the coolest, most caring, hilarious people you've ever met. 

When you can truly be yourself and be accepted, no questions asked, and without conditions or stipulations, you know you've struck gold.

This is for all my Hoppies...I love and miss you guys!