Lovin' the Sun

The few days I spent in SoCal last week were incredible. I was made for sunshine and clear blue skies. I didn't even care that it reached 101 on Thursday. There was good food, beautiful scenery and if that wasn't enough, I got to share it all with a handsome man!

 A couple days in Santa Monica:

We had lunch at this cool burger joint called Pono Burger.
Grass-fed beef, craft beers and a super cool, chill vibe.

Yum...my tasty gluten-free bevvie choice for lunch.

Heading down the pier

Ferris Wheels are the scariest...

Well hello Mr. Seagull,
enjoying the view?

The Pacific. I'm home...

The remnants of dinner and passion fruit sangria
at Blue Plate Taco

Loved watching the sunset from the star-laden patio.

Um...this is weird...
Getting drinks after dinner on the 3rd Street Promenade...

Beautiful sunny morning by the pier.

Took a 2 hour morning ride along the beach...heaven!

Sandy toes make for a happy Linsey

A little hazy but still a beautiful day

Stopped for a refreshment...watermelon water at Perry's

The original Hot Dog on a Stick

 Last night in Cali...dinner and conversation at Flemming's

Delicious Peach Harvest Mule

Lobster lettuce wraps and short rib empanadas

Donuts with blueberry and lemon sauces

Chocolate Lava Milkshake with
Bulleit rye Whiskey

But for realz...summer is my favorite and SoCal is SO lucky getting this awesome weather year round, it's always hard to leave. Till next time...

The Day The Sky Went Black

Ten years ago this month I found out I was pregnant. My boyfriend at the time, and I were completely shocked but that soon wore off into excited worry. We heard the heartbeat of our little bundle and set off making plans...

That all came crashing down a month later when I found out I had miscarried. 

Ugh, I just hate saying that sentence...I didn't do anything. A miscarriage happened. But the sentence structure seems to imply that I had some control over it...we all know that's not true. Sometimes healthy women who follow all the rules experience miscarriages while sometimes women who inundate their bodies with alcohol and drugs carry to full term. This is something we truly have no control over. 

There was no heartbeat. It was devastating. I went in for a D&C later that week and will never forget the feeling I had when I woke up...

I opened my eyes to see the April sun streaming in through the windows. Just at the edge of my view, a nurse was writing on my chart. Before I even thought about it I said, "Oh, what a beautiful day!" and immediately it hit me...my baby, the baby I didn't plan for, wasn't prepared for, but loved and looked forward to meeting, had been removed from my body. The anguish and despair that washed over me in that moment, I pray I will never feel again. The window that just seconds before was brightly lit, may as well have gone black. My world would never be the same and I wondered if the sun would ever rise again. Tears flooded my eyes and the nurse said even though I wasn't fully ready, she was going to let me leave the recovery area and see my boyfriend. I'm sure she simply didn't know what to say or do.

And the boyfriend, he was a good man, but he didn't know what to say or do either. In the months that followed, he took me on walks; we went on drives around the lake. He sat with me while I cried. He never once told me to get over it; faulted me for being beyond crabby and sensitive; became annoyed with the constant tears, anger, lashing out. He was patient. Kind. Forgiving. He didn't keep a record of the times I was out of line and treated him poorly. He showed me the Love of Christ.

But love truly isn't enough. Love doesn't conquer all. I needed more than that. I needed Jesus.

Read the rest of the story next week...

California Dreamin'

So I made a last minute trek to SoCal yesterday. I'll be here in paradise for a few days before returning to my regularly scheduled life in WA.

My first flight landed in San Francisco right around sunrise...man, was it beautiful!

I then continued onto SoCal where I spent a little time working out in the beautiful SUNSHINE!

See my laptop there? Brought along my dvds
so I could stay on track with my exercise!

Did a little afternoon reading by this gorgeous pool then had some tasty BBQ for dinner at Lucille's. Sigh...I think this is just the refresh I needed...

Row, Row, Row Your Boat

Do you ever feel like you aren't fully using the gifts/abilities/talents you've been given and wonder when the day will come that it all just clicks together and you'll know that that's exactly why you're here?

Sometimes I just look at my life and think, "how the heck is this my life?!" I know that Linsey of years past would be annoyed and disappointed with present day Linsey. I know that I'm meant for so much more than this. I didn't even realize I was off course, because I don't think I ever found a course in the first place.

I've been waiting to figure out what it is I'm made for, but in the meantime I've just done whatever it is that's in front of me. Now, years have passed and I don't even know how I got here.

I feel like a canoe on the ocean, being tossed around and at the complete mercy of the wind and waves. I think I was made to be an ocean liner, slicing through the waves with a clear and decisive path, not being rocked or redirected by currents or storms.


God controls the seas and the wind obeys Him so I shall continue to seek Him and have faith in His plan and timing.

Still I Will Say...

At church we're going through a series called "Healing Life's Hidden Hurts" and last week Steve the Pastor went through Job and spoke about grief and loss.

Job went through a lot. Like, A LOT A LOT. In times of trial in my own life I have perhaps been a little dramatic about what it is I'm going through, but I am not now, nor have I ever been Job. That, however, does not mean that I haven't experienced extreme grief or loss. I know I am not terminally unique in this, because...well, that's just part of life.

One of my favorite things about Job is that even in the midst of all these terrible things, he never loses faith. Don't get me wrong...Job gets angry, and who wouldn't?!  All his children are killed, everything he's worked for is gone, and his health has been taken from him, but he still praises God.

²⁰ Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped. ²¹ And he said, “Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall Ireturn. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” ²² In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong.       Job 1:20-22 

This verse is the basis for one of my favorite Worship songs...

What if today, I stopped wondering why God allowed/is allowing certain things to happen in my life. What if I stopped trying to figure out what the heck it is God is doing in and through my life. What if, just for a moment, I stopped and praised the Lord, simply because He IS The Lord, and blessed be His Name.

Deep Thoughts...

Working in a restaurant you meet all kinds of people and have all kinds of conversations. Yesterday I chatted for quite a while with one particular couple. We talked about all sorts of things, mainly how I came to work at Hop Jack's and why I think it's such a great place to work.

It's kind of the joke in the family that I've had so many jobs. I'm guessing I've had almost twice as many jobs as the rest of my family combined...I've worked so many jobs I doubt I could even count them all.

There is only one job I can think of that I absolutely hated from day one...I think it was more about circumstance than the actual job, but man, was it miserable!

Whenever I talk "life" with people they inevitably ask what it is I really want to do... what I want to be when I grow up. Well, that's easy...all I've ever wanted to be is a wife and mom. It's taken years, but I've come to rest in the fact that it's out of my control...if it's God's will for my life, it'll happen...in His time.

Ugh...why is His time never my time?!

Ok, let's jump back to the convo I had last night with the couple at work...I told them this isn't want I want to do forever, but it's what I'm doing right now.

So, maybe I'm not doing what I want to be doing. But wait...don't I keep praying that His will would be mine as well?? And this is what He has me doing right now. (I'm 100% positive that I'm exactly where he wants me) So, maybe it looks different than I thought (or what I think is best/what I think I want) but that really doesn't matter because even if I hate what I'm doing or where I'm at, I need to be doing it for the the glory of God. 

And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father .... So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 

Colossians 3:17, 1 Corinthians 10:31

 And conviction sets in...

You don't have to like what you're doing Linsey, you just have to do it for the glory of God. Big or small, it's all for Him.

Rainbow Splatters

Why do I let my brain run wild? The past several months I've been doing an incredible amount of thinking. I've always been told I'm an over thinker but you know it's out of control when you start over thinking your over thinking. 

The past month I've been working on simply taking a breath. Letting it all go, at least for a moment, and enjoying a brief taste of freedom from worry, anxiety and fear.

When I saw this on Pinterest I immediately related. I'm actually surprised there aren't rainbow splatter marks all over the house. 

Throughout the day I have to remind myself that GOD and GOD ALONE is in control. No amount of thinking, worrying or trying to "figure things out" is going to help me. When I turn to Him, open the Word and hand over my burdens, I experience true freedom. And I like it. 

Counting By 7's

My mom told me to read this book, she said I'd really like it. 

And the good daughter that I am: I let it sit there for several months and finally, when she was out of town and couldn't see that I was taking her advice, I read it.

I sat in the sun with a healthy snack and cracked open this YA book without even knowing anything about it.

I was sad today when I finished it, because over the past few days I grew to love Willow Chance and the collection of mismatched souls who cross her path in this amazing novel. It's a quick read and totally worth the few hours you'll spend on it.

The Story Of My Life

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about my story.

I've been asking myself a few hard questions:


Is this the story God has for me?

Is this the story I've been waiting 34 years for?

Would I be proud to tell my daughter this story?

If my daughter told me this as her story, how would I feel?

I don't know that I have answers for all of these yet, but this is what's on my mind.

Words of Wisdom

Had some time off over the weekend...so...Pinterest it was!!

Here's a few of the gems I found:

Love never requires you to be torn down just to build
someone else up.

I think I'm pretty awesome, and every mistake I've made
up until now has helped me be this awesome. I also
see more awesome in the future...

Boom!

The key is figuring out what the lesson is...
that also happens to be easier said than done.

You can't actually change anyone...
that's between them and God.