Highlight Reels and Real Life

Social media is great. 

We can re-connect with long lost friends and relatives, connect for the first time with people who we share common interests and hobbies, it allows us to keep up with loved ones living across the country or world with pictures and videos. All great things!

Social media is great...

Until it's not.

It's so easy to paint our lives into something they're not. We readily engage in bullying debates that we'd never dream about taking part in face to face. Social media platforms allow us to stand on our thrones soapboxes and yell our views at the world while simultaneously posting photos and posts about our carefully edited perfect lives.

I'm guilty of this too. As much as I try to be completely real and authentic 100% of the time, I don't post photos where I look really bad...kinda bad-- sure-those go up all the time...but really bad? Those get left on the cutting room floor. I don't post the meals I make that are thrown together, but I definitely post about the gourmet meals I prepare and parties I throw. When I have a blemish, I don't photograph that side of my face because I'd really rather everyone think my skin is perfect...it's not, btw.

Over the years my friends have scolded me about posting things like:

full tummy pics:

After a large breakfast at Glenn's Diner in Chicago, circa 2008

I'm not a lady when I eat pics:

A Chicago Dog at Navy Pier

The funny faces I make:

Reenacting the Great Malted Milk Ball Incident from childhood

Not entirely sure what this is about but it was
apparently FB worthy...

I do a lot of reenacting...this from Bridesmaids while at
brunch with my sister... 

My beautiful E...and then there's me.
Even in formalwear I can't keep it together...

What if...we stopped comparing our real life moments with the everyone else's highlight reels we see on social media? What if instead of posting only our shinning moments, we were also vulnerable and honest...could you imagine how much we'd all benefit from things like...

* I ate half a pan of brownies tonight but that doesn't mean I've given up on my healthy lifestyle but I've definitely given up on today...

* Emergency run to the store for (Eggs/diapers/formula/beer...whatever it happens to be) and wearing stained/dirty/smelly shirt because it's the first thing I grabbed on my way out the door...

* Feeding my family this box of cereal tonight for dinner...because crunch berries are fruit, right?

* I lost my patience today and was kinda rude to everyone...that's my bad.

* ...Pic of something altogether underwhelming but is a completely normal part of life...

And...What if we didn't judge people when they post honestly? What if we encouraged one another. Period. What if we went back to what our mom's taught us...and if we don't have anything nice to say we just don't say anything at all?  

How about before we speak we ask ourselves:

Is it true?
Is it necessary?
Is it kind?

And if it's not, what if we just keep scrolling?

I'm betting it would change the world.

Preventing Hanger

One of my non-negotiables is food. More specifically, healthy, nutritious, filling foods at regular intervals.

I get hangry. Really, really hangry. I'll be fine one second and absolutely insane with hunger the next. I usually carry snacks and the people I spend most of my time with become experts at gauging my hunger and preventing the worst of it from happening...eyes glazing over, color draining from my face, everything gets muffled sounding, and I break out in a cold sweat, quickly followed by the sudden inability to deal with anything at all.  It's an all out meltdown, 2year old style...not pretty...


Over the years I've learned ways to prevent such occurrences...namely, eating 80/20 paleo and not skipping meals or snacks...like, ever.

I NEED these pillows!

Eating healthy takes some planning, but luckily I'm a super type-A personality and planning is my favorite thing to do! I use this handy little weekly menu planner/grocery list. 

Here is how I fill it out:

* Each family member is assigned a specific color and their activities are written in that color.
* After the week's events are written on each day I access which day will need fast (crockpot or leftovers) meals and which days I'll have more time to cook.
* I assign each day a full meal (entree, veggie, any additional sides) 
* Use the "Shopping List" portion to 
   1) On the left: write down the things (and amounts) I KNOW we'll need to buy
   2) On the right: write down things I'll need to check the pantry and fridge for before shopping

It was especially handy when I nannied my 3 girls in Chicago, everyone had different sports/music/tutoring schedules, needed different things on different days and this really helped to keep all of us organized. 

So...what's on the schedule this week...

Monday: Mom and Kurt met up with little brother Josh and amazing fiancee Jillian at my work
Tuesday: Pumpkin Waffles with baked sweet potato and apple compote
Wednesday: Zucchini Lasagne with salad and homemade dressing (ranch or balsamic)
Thursday: Pan seared scallops with broccoli
Friday: Cumin spiced chicken and sweet potatoes
Saturday: Taco salad.

To be honest...there is usually a carb involved. Mom and I eat mostly paleo but we don't force it on Kurt. Sure, he's learned to eat lettuce wraps and cauliflower rice but he still uses a tortilla or wants some bread on occasion. 

I'll work on posting the recipes this week and let you know how they all turned out, Wed-Fri are new recipes from a cookbook I've never used...we'll see how it goes! 

Gonna Make A Change

So, what am I going to do about this stress issue? How will I change my daily life so once a year my hair doesn't fall out by the handful or my immune system doesn't completely shutdown on me?

First on the list is giving it to God. 

I used to live this life where I handed things over to Christ when I felt stressed or realized I was trying to control things that I shouldn't.  Sure, I have broad shoulders-thanks to my years of swimming, but they are not meant to carry the weight of the world, which is what I usually ask them to do. Time to go back to living like that. Not sure how I got away from it, but it has not been serving me well.

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS.…Matthew 11:28-29

Second, I'm putting down roots.

I don't know the last time I lived somewhere knowing that's where I was planning on being even just 12 months later. When I moved to Chicago 8 years ago, I believed I'd be there for one year. I thought I'd meet Pin Stripe Suit Man...you know, the tall, dark and handsome, wildly successfully business man who would sweep me off my feet, marry me and move us back home--to my home, in Washington where we'd have kids and live happily ever after. 

Yeah...well, that didn't happen.

Each year I lived there, I'd say, "ok, Lins, you're still here, no problem, it's cool, but you aren't going to be here forever." So, I never put down roots. I never settled in. The apartment I came to love still felt more like a holding pen than a home.


When I left Chicago 15 months ago, I definitely didn't put down roots. I spent 3 months in Arkansas, most of which I traveled, including a week in Haiti. I then moved back home
to Washington and told myself, and anyone who would listen, that I wasn't staying long. I got a job, found a church and made friends, but never planned on staying. So, after 9 months, I moved to California. 

Well, 3 months later, I'm back home. At mom's. Sleeping in my high school bedroom in the basement. 

But this time is different. I plan on staying. Not in mom's basement, but in Washington. I'm telling myself that this time is different. I don't need to scramble to see everyone ever single week. There's plenty of time, because I'm going to be here long-term. Getting plugged in at church and with volunteer opportunities is top priority because...I'm going to be here. Working on figuring out a career instead of just getting by week to week is a necessity. 

Instead of treading water and trying to figure out what's next, I'm going to try settling in, getting comfy and relaxing a little. I'm here to stay...

Being Chased By A Bear

A year ago I went to the doctor because my hair was falling out by the handful. I was losing weight, my skin hurt to touch and I was having trouble sleeping. I was convinced I'd picked something up while in Haiti or was suffering from some sort of hormone imbalance. She checked my thyroid, ran a ton of tests and guess what? There was nothing medically wrong with me.

I was told it was stress.

Turns out your body has no way of differentiating between a physical threat, like being chased by a bear, and an internal threat...stress. 

Fast forward one year, and stress has taken it's toll again...I'm suffering from a horrible case of strep throat, with tonsillitis and the inside of my mouth and throat are covered in fever blisters. Doctor said it's all stress related. Lack of sleep, compromised immune system, emotional overload...the body can only take so much before it rebels. 

How am I going to stop this from happening again? Good question...I have a couple ideas, but first, I gotta get healthy.

Today Is A New Day

I've always been active, but a year ago I decided to finally take my health seriously. Instead of just looking healthy, I wanted to BE healthy. 

See...Food has always been a serious problem for me. My relationship with it has had me cast as the victim and Food as the controlling master. Binge eating has been a common theme in my life and the mental and emotional toll it took severely outweighed the physical impacts. I know this isn't everyone's experience, but it's mine.

Often, people don't take me seriously when I say I have food issues. They look at me and say, you're a healthy weight so it can't be that bad. Well, it is. It's sometimes hard to deal with things if everyone around you is telling you "it's not that bad." I had to realize that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or says, I KNOW it's an issue for me so I have to be committed to working on it.

When I moved to Washington last September, I couldn't afford to join a Cross-fit box so I bought some DVDs and joined an online accountability group. I ended up loving the workouts (Focus T25) but never would have remained consistent without the support of the group. They shared their experiences, encouraged me when I felt down (or had just eaten an entire pan of brownies) they celebrated successes, big and small, with me, and became a vital part of my health and fitness journey.

Fast-forward one year, and several workout programs later (21 Day Fix, 21DFX, a tip-toe into InsanityMax30) these women are still supporting me, encouraging me and have welcomed me into their ranks with open arms. With the support of these women, my determination to no longer let food control me, the help of Shakeology (seriously, it's amazing and I credit it with most of my success ending the binges) I'm much happier and healthier. 

So, that's why I decided to do this. To make helping others my job. Today, I'm rolling out a brand-spankin' new FB page...Linsey Collier: Wholly Healthy. For me, health is about the whole person. It's not a quick fix or surface level. I'm so much more than just a healthy eater or someone who likes to workout...I'm a book-lover, travel nut, and woman of faith...we all are multi-dimensional and without recognizing the whole of who we are, and tending to it, we'll never make the changes we desire.

Join me in being Wholly Healthy.

The 15 Year Temper Tantrum

I have a bad attitude. 


Growing up I hated kids and figured I'd be some sort of career woman with long hours, fancy clothes, big paychecks and a trophy husband waiting for me at the door when I got home.

Then, my world changed.

I signed up to be an AmeriCorps volunteer when I was 20. I moved to Denver with 2 friends and worked in a low-income daycare. Yes, I know, I just said I hated kids but I signed up to work in a daycare...I didn't get it either.

Anyway, the placed me in the preschool room and after about a week I was in love with too many 3 year olds to count. Romeo, yes that's the kid's real name, was my favorite. He was polite, kind, funny and oh so sweet. He also was super cute. Jose is still the only 3 year old I've ever known to wear boxers, a thin gold chain and cologne. Jovianni threw up in my hands...they teach you to never try to catch vomit in your hand-you know, disease, virus, ext. spread through bodily fluids...plus, it's just gross. Well, he told me he was going to be sick and as I carried him to the bathroom, I held out my free hand and let him throw up into it. I knew then that I'd never be the same.

A few weeks later I was asked to fill in during lunch breaks in the infant room. I fell in love. The way these babes changed me, I will never fully understand. I knew then, that I was MADE to be a mom. That was the reason I was born. I was meant to care for and protect children. I still didn't believe in God at this time, but I KNEW beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I was CREATED to have babies.

Fast forward 15 years...I don't have kids. I'm not a mom. I've spent the majority of those 15 years with other people's kids. And while I wouldn't change that for the world, I still believe I was made for more. I was made to raise a family of my own. I know with every fiber of my being that God (who I now believe created me) designed me to be a mom.

But I'm not a mom. I don't have kids to raise. What am I supposed to do with this desire that fills my heart? When, if ever, will I be a mom with kids of my own? When will I stop helping other people raise their kids and finally get to raise my own?

I don't have answers to these questions, I know that only God does.

For the past 15 years I've been set on raising my own family. Being a wife and mom. I want nothing more than to get married and start a family. It just hasn't happened. But instead of finding another passion, another way to honor God, I've been throwing a fit. A huge, 15 year long temper tantrum. I'm not getting my way and instead of moving on, I keep going back to this:

I know you created me to be a mom.
I'm not a mom.
I don't understand why you're withholding this from me.
I'm mad.
I'm going to stand here and hold my breath until I get what I want.

So, instead of investing in some other career, or hobby, or interest, I've been stagnant, frozen with anger and confusion. Not using my time wisely. Not giving in to God's plan but standing firm in my own selfish ideas of how my life should be.

Until I change this attitude, nothing is going to sound interesting. I'll probably continue to dismiss any new possibilities that come my way, and I'll miss out on more amazing things.

It's time for an attitude adjustment. 

The Fight From Within

Why are we so hard on ourselves? 

If you listen to almost anyone speak, you'll hear the most hurtful, negative things come out of their mouth when they're talking about themselves. Women are especially great at this. Several years ago one of my girlfriends told me she didn't want to hear any negative self-talk. I was like, ok no problem. But then I realized that close to half of the stuff that came out of my mouth was actually bashing myself in some way.

Since then I've adopted this mentality, and though I'm not perfect (just a fact) I have gotten much better about stopping harmful speak before it comes out of my mouth.

I hear everything I say and I'm with myself more than anyone else...if I have nothing good to say about myself why would anyone else? If I can't find a reason to love myself, how will anyone else? If I can't eliminate hate speech (because, face it ladies, that's essentially what it is) about myself, will I begin accepting it when others say it to me? If I wouldn't say those words to my sister or friend, why would I think it's ok to say them to myself?

There's enough pressure coming from the outside that we don't need it coming from within too. And as women, we should be cheering on one another, raising each other up instead of bashing and pushing others down.  A few things I've learned that have helped with this:

1. Not everyone has the same goals. My goals at the moment might have me going in a very different direction than your goals have you going. This moment in time will not look the same for everyone. And that's ok.

2. Not everyone wants to look the same. As in: some people want to have a 6 pack, others truly don't. Some think "waif thin" is the way to go and others are all about that bass. 

3. If I am doing what is healthy for me, good job! But that doesn't mean it's what's right for everyone. And I'm happy you decided to be vegan, glad that's making you happy, but I'm going to continue eating bacon until it kills me (because you just told me it will, but I don't care) and that's ok too.

4. Looks can be deceiving. The old saying, "Don't judge a book by it's cover" has stuck around for a reason--it's TRUE! Everyone has demons, everyone has hang up, challenges, struggles...just because they only put their "best self" on social media doesn't mean their life is actually perfect.

5. Nobody knows what's right for me, except me. Sure, there are a lot of people out there who know a lot more about a lot of things than I do but when it comes right down to it, what I end up doing is my choice. And the same goes for you.

6. I wouldn't spend my day, or any portion of it, with someone who continuously told me I was ugly, fat, had gross hair, getting wrinkles, wasn't smart or funny enough, was a loser and quitter, couldn't measure up, etc, etc. Why do we spend all day with this exact loop running through our heads?

It's not ok.

When you can stop that loop of nonsense, and begin to truly love yourself for the person you were created to be, you'll see that loving others becomes a lot easier.