The Best Laid Plans

The calendar says the first full week of 2015 is rounding the corner but I guess my mind and heart work on a slightly different timeline. Though the flip of a calendar page indicates a new, fresh start, there's generally a little residual emotion from the year prior. I'm giving myself the freedom to wade through things at my own pace. Looking to God for guidance as I untangle myself from the events of 2014 while still attempting to fully embrace all 2015 has to offer.

In some ways, 2014 was incredible. 

I think fondly of the time I spent with the kiddos I love more than anything (3 girls in Chicago, 2 boys in Arkansas and my sweetie pie nephew here in Washington.) All the adventures we had, jokes we shared and the quiet moments that are forever engrained in my heart and memory. 

A rare quiet moment
in Arkansas

The many friends who showed up to crazy events I planned my last few months in Chicago. And the realization that so many people care about me. More than I even realized.

The babies that know me as Auntie Lins, Auntie Linsey, Auntie SiFri.  They'll never know the joy they brought to my life in 2014, all the snuggles, loves, smiles and sweet baby giggles that helped me through times of major change.

My little Chicago babes, QandElove

I traveled places near and far. From Vegas to Haiti. Built pews for a mountaintop church, experienced the joy of room-service breakfasts, added Oklahoma to the list of states I've visited, played laser-tag for the first time and learned how to kayak.

Who let me use power tools?!

2014 wasn't all fun and games though. Hurt, heartache, fear, anxiety, relationship breakdowns and unexpected change were also prevalent. I'm learning that just because things didn't turn out how I hoped they would or expected them to, all is not lost.  I had amazing experiences, incredible interactions and made huge decisions which created incredible change. It doesn't matter if later some of those relationships went south, or that the big change ended up turning into something completely different than I thought. I loved the people in my life, made the most of each moment and took risks. I can appreciate 2014 for what it was instead of hating it because it didn't turn out how I wanted it. 

Sometimes people are only in your life for a season. Not everyone is a "forever friend" and that's ok. Sometimes we think we're in a good groove or our plan is awesome, but God thinks we need things shaken up a bit. It doesn't always make sense to us, and that's ok.

I'm starting over in 2015. Almost completely starting from scratch in all areas of life. And though I thought things would be very different, I'm trusting that God knows what he's doing and His plan for my 2015 is even better than anything I have in mind.